I am really sorry but I totally have a bone to pick with Jesus.

Infact I think that every person who could never quite get into *those * jeans should have a bone to pick with Jesus. My epic and totally coherent logic is as follows:

Jesus created easter right? Because he totally died and people totally cried and it was all sad sad sad.

Then Easter started becoming more about bunnies and chocolate and eggs and shit. Sometimes even CHOCOLATE EGGS.

So technically Jesus made Easter all about Chocolate.

Then you get all the poor peoples who come along that were doing so fucking well with their healthy eating shit after Christmas and then BANG the shops fill up with thousands upon thousands of happy giving Jesus chocolate eggs.

Shopping then becomes torturous and horrid for all these people and eventually, unless you are a hero, you crumble and fill your basket with the Jesus chocolate.

So, Jesus died for humanity’s sins. And in doing so created a bazillion more tasty chocolate sins.

He obviously didn’t really care if we listened to those 7 deadly whatjamacallits or he would have made Jesus lettuce now wouldn’t he?

In summation? Thanks a fucking lot Jesus!