Last night a few friends and I hit up the Sound Island Music Festival. It was a good night all round, with lots of sun and good music which is always a fun way to spend a July evening.
Unfortunatly one of the support acts has a rather large fan base of 14 year old emo kids who wore trousers so tight that any form of movement ended up resembling the zombie dance from Thriller. Apart from the obligatory hand in the air with the rock on sign they didn’t seem to do a lot. I think apart from the odd person we may have been the oldest there which is both embarrasing and depressing. Since when the hell am I the OLD person at a gig?!
As the night wore on we got bored of watching emo kids doing their rock on salute so we decided that the ONLY way to get something going was to clear a patch of grass and break out some swing dance to go with the thrashing guitar. It worked suprisingly well and even the nearby emo kids ignored their trouser restrictions and joined in so I feel that although we might despair for these poor kids with the hair over their eyes it might not be too late! They can be saved! You just need some idiots willing to break out some old school dance and bust a hip move.
Pee to the ess? 32 days!
Since everyone upped and abandoned me, aka I moved (yeah I know WHEN will I ever stop talking about it?! Short answer? Never..it cut me to the depths of my soul bitches*) I have been trying to you know..eat like a rabbit. In that I eat more green coloured things because I heard on the grapevine that they, you know, are healthy or some shit. Like a true scientist I want hard empirical evidence and I am not above using myself as a guinea pig.
As part of this drive I decided that rather than keeping all my favourite and forbidden joys under my bed (food joys that is..) I would keep them in cupboard downstairs. This is pure genius in one big shiny way, let me explain.
My brain, rather than having all the bits like your normal brain, is divided into two parts. The first is lazyness. This is the bit which means I can sit around and do nothing and be totally ok with it. I love it like it was my squishy.
The second part is my desire for bad food. It is the bit which allows me to drive to the drive through because DUDE IT’S ALL ABOUT THE TOY HONEST!
So, the genius part is that that the two are now locked into a battle.
Debbie..go get me some tasty food. Biscuits or crisps please
Oh no way..that is like all the way downstairs..you could trip and fall…better to stay here and play xbox.
Meaning I don’t actually move, because the lazy bit always normally wins out. Except no, the force is strong with the bad food half.
This results in me running up and downstairs about 100 times a night. Each time just taking ONE biscuit because I am still desperately trying to be good. I look at it like I am getting a mini workout each and every time so it balances out.
I think my new housemate thinks I am weird. If not because of this then because she came in to find me reading a book titled ‘How to Kill’. It is a history of assassins but I didn’t have time to tell her that before there was a housemate shaped whole in the wall.
*not really
So I am back to the land of the internet and a mere few hours later it is time for the annual pilgrimage to the my favourite place in England: The Lake District.
There were several reasons this trip should not have worked. First was the weather, a prediction of nothing but pouring rain, poor visibility and 45mph wind on the ridges. Second was a suspected broken toe sustained when I was building a place for my internet to live. Have you ever tried to climb or hike when you can’t bend your big toe? All good fun though.
Day one consisted of arriving after the epic 7 hour drive, unpacking the food and instantly unloading the bottles of beer to our improvised fridge; a steam running through the campsite. Works like a charm! Then came lighting up the bbq and cooking a meal fit for..poor students at a campsite.
A tired racing pigeon befriended us and then we spent the next two days feeding both him and the host of smaller birds who spied our dinner, breakfast and lunch. I am a hit with the birds.
Day two was filled with climbing and then hiking when we decided that it was too cold and dangerous to climb any further. This point was further emphasised by the fact that as we descended a climber on the next rock face fell, sustaining serious injuries and requiring a search and rescue helicopter and mountain teams to winch him to the nearest hospital. We saw the whole thing and it certainly made our descent a lot more sedate. Prior to that we were leaping from rock to rock like human mountain goats. Complete with strange noises.
Day three began with the best opening of a day ever. The decision to take our newly acquired child size inflatable dingy to a nearby lake…and sail across it! In shorts and t-shirts! In the pissing down rain (if you ever doubted my genius then there is proof for you!). Of course it sank mid way across because no matter how light we pretended to be the boat did not believe that we weighed the same as a 10 year old. Fucker.
Of course before we even got to the lake we decided to take the cheats way and drive closer to it to avoid the long trek. This almost ended horribly when we had to give way to a large van on the tiny tiny mountain roads..and got stuck on a rock and a host of mud. The subsequent effort of unsticking the car put us in the red for fuel so a panic stricken dash around the mountains ensued to get petrol. Then we had to drive back there. And sink. It was all fun and games though and the video of that event will keep me entertained until I die. Which will probably be tomorrow if I have any more bright ideas.
And so ends the annual trip. It was as good as ever and I already cannot wait until next time I can go back. Maybe with a bigger boat device..and grander plans like attaching balloons to it and floating to the top of the mountain!
After the jump there is a bunch of pictures..should you require visual stimulation.
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