The weekend just gone was a holiday weekend, but I am in serious need of a holiday from my weekend.
Saturday brought the final exam of my undergraduate career. I think you could hear the joy coming from the 100 finishing Psychology students for about 200 miles. The BBC told us that it would rain but they told horrible lies and instead we had perfect sunshine. This meant that sitting on top of the University hill drinking champagne was made all the more pleasant.
Once the champagne was gone it was decided that a trip to a local castle was in order. There they were holding a medieval fair with lots of swords and people dressed up in crazy outfits. Needless to say I got very excited.
Just when you thought that the day couldn’t get any better..Guitar Hero Legands of Rock was unleashed, which I must say is perhaps the best game in the world. Although I did manage to injure myself in the process of being a superstar. Such a hard life.
Last night I found that all the bandwidth had been leeched from this site and that all my links were re-routing to some medication search site so it meant spending the best half of my night updating my Wordpress. I had been meaning to for ages but I was too scared of making it all go boom! I am quite proud that I didn’t and it now seems to be working. Fucking hacker bastard fucks. They could have at least made it something interesting like..porn. Oh and a quick side note to the MySpace hotlinkers? Nice try you fucking emo retards.
And finally..I just heard there a some big incident going on up at the Uni. The words bomb and scare are being banded about but the email announcement gives nothing away apart from the fact everything is in lockdown so no one can leave or enter.
If anyone touches my Uni I will hunt them down and they will be condemned to death by unicorn hooves while Paris Hilton’s cd is on repeat.
I leave you with a picture of one pimpin’ Henry VIII (click to embiggen)
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I have this rather unfortunate talent which I have honed rather well in the last few years.. seriously..ask any of my housemates how they feel about me making predictions and they will run at you, making chopping motions..with plastic cutlery.
I have honestly never seen so many deer in the headlight expressions as when I begin a sentence with ‘oh you so know *this* is going to happen’ or ‘hah what next *this*?!’
Many years ago I was passing through a room where my family and friends were watching F1, I flippantly remarked that ’such and such a driver is annoying and I hope he breaks his leg to end his season (I was little..and a bitch..and little ok?!). Sure enough within 12 laps said driver has spun out and broke his leg.
2 years ago I was discussing the bad fortune of my current place of residence and remarked to my sister ‘oh I will probably get home and find the ceiling has collapsed’. Upon arriving home I found we had a leak in the attic which had dripped through and caused the ceiling in the kitchen to collapse.
Cut to last week. I was sat in the pub at lunchtime with two of my work colleagues and we were talking about how shitty the economic situation was lately for our industry and many others. Jokingly we began the ‘if our work went bust who out of us would get fired first’ conversation (we are little rays of sunshine aren’t we?!). I get back to the office and not two minutes later I am called into my bosses office, she breaks the news to me that one of our offices is being shut due to the shitty economy and that one of my colleagues, who had been at that same conversation, was being made redundant (there are ten of us total between both offices so loosing one is a big deal).
So, I impart this wisdom to you now. If you are ever in a conversation with me, and I begin to make a bad crack about something happening you are to summon a flock of very angry unicorns and command them to trample me to death with their glittery hooves.
I have to make radical statements such as this because if I was to say get a gun and pop a cap in my ass then the fates (ceiling cat) would hear and make it so.
Ok lets pretend that weeks run from Tuesday-Tuesday for a moment.
28 – the number of hours worked.
35 – the number of hours studied.
5 – the number of times I have wanted to punch someone in the face.
0 – the number of times I actually did (I win life..I win!).
3 – the number of gorgeously sunny days.
0 – the number of gorgeously sunny days I actually got to go outside in (touché life touché)
4 -the number of BBQs I have smelt but not enjoyed.
34 – the number of A4 pages of notes taken.
64 – the number of pages in my thesis..handed in and all but a distant scary memory.
72 – the number of hours until the beginning of my finals.
1 – the number of bible studies which happened in my living room (nothing to do with me k?)
25 – the number of hours until the Apprentice!
Now my thesis has gone I have a big stats shaped hole in my heart. So I have had to break everything down into numbers.
If you want me I can be found rocking back and forth typing numbers into my calculator and wailing about MANOVAs.
