Students get a bad rep around here, I think it’s the same in any University town but it seems that my local area got more than it’s quota of stupid when it comes to some of the futures bright young academic stars.
Case in point, a local newspaper article about a local house burning down. The house is ablaze and neighbours are evacuating before their houses catch alight also. All except the students who naturally think of the most important thing to do in a fire:
“We got outside, but then I sent Dave* back in to get the Xbox. Unfortunately we broke Pro-Evo soccer in the process..which was not cool”
The clever is strong in this one.
I do kind of love that he sent his other housemate back in rather than risk it himself, I’ll have to remember that one next time my house is on fire and my cans of mountain dew are stranded.
*Not really Dave.
I heart weekends a lot at the moment. Sunday is the only day when I can actually get away with doing nothing. I do pretty much nothing during the week also (apart from Uni) but I tend to feel guilty about it, on Sunday’s I do not have such guilt.
I went to see another castle today. I think this is the point I realise that I am getting old in some respects. On Monday mornings most students will come into my lectures and talk about how so and so got really drunk, then puked all over their carpet and omg it was SO funny. I come in and talk about how I went to castle (!), went on a tour of secret underground war tunnels (!) and then when I was all done with that excitement I sat down and had a cup of tea and some cake (!). I half expect that next week I will talk about knitting sweaters for my grandchildren and which denture adhesive is the best value for money.
I also realised that I was getting old when a pack of children sprinted past me and up a steep incline. I thought that if I were to suddenly launch myself at the incline my heart would probably laugh hard and then stop out of spite.
It was fun though. Way more fun than I thought it would be, I even learnt some stuff so I feel all smart now. I could totally tell you all about the tunnels dug out of the chalky cliffs of Dover and how they housed thousands of our Army brains during WWII and that the 18 tonnes of telephone and early computer equipment in one of the caverns could now fit inside a modern laptop. They even let me sample mead which was very exciting. Although at 11am and on an empty stomach it wasn’t so good.
Because I spent so much of my time lately enjoying castles I think future weekends should involve sky diving, white water rafting or juggling with fire.
Just so long as I can sit down with tea and cake after to keep it all civilised.
la la la
I am bored.
I realllly want to go to see Cloverfield and Juno at the cinema but they aren’t out here until like..forever..and I have already accidentally seen about 48308402 spoilers for Cloverfield. I think I only really want to go see it because I have heard of so many people getting motion sick and I want to see if it makes me want to unswallow. I will make sure I sit behind obnoxious people if I do.
Why is it that when you ask a tiny favour of a stranger they will be happy to oblige but then ask the same favour of a friend and they first have to check if it fits into their plan, and then acts like it’s a huuuuge deal when they do it for you. I think they want me to hire a plane to write my thank you in the sky. I’ll send a directionally challenged carrier pigeon. With bird flu.
I really want some mint chocolate chip ice cream and am trying to decide if going out to get some is a good idea. It really isn’t as we have no room in the freezer so I would be forced to eat it all in one go. I know..how tragic!
I also would quite like some hot and sour soup, but probably not with the ice cream. That might get messy.
I don’t think I should blog when I am bored huh?
Since I will be all lost for what to do with my life come graduation I decided that I should start applying for jobs so I can earn money to come back in to education (can anyone say career student?). Yesterday I had an interview with a software company which meant that I have spent the last few days rehearsing my answers to such tedious questions as “so tell me about a time when you were awesome in the face of adversity”. Ok so I may have paraphrased a little there but that is totally what they want to know.
I hate all those kinds of questions because instead of being able to answer truthfully about why I want to work for their company (your salary is pretty, the perks you offer are pretty..and this means I can indulge my habit of hookers and blow without annoying my bank manager) I have to say things like “your graduate schemes and career progression are one of the best”. I have said these things so often now that I am actually starting to believe myself. I guess the adage of saying it so often that it becomes true is accurate. My new mantra for this week: I will win the lottery I will win the lottery..
There were a lot of positives that I took from the day along with one negative. I realised when I walked in to meet the other interviewees for the day that this was going to be an all boys club. I further realised this when I took a seat and watched as another interviewee came, greeted all the other boys with a cheery hello and a handshake and then turned to me with a look which said “this chick is here to fetch my tea and answer the phones right?!” before turning back to the others. I laughed on the inside because this guy just single handedly gave me the motivation to get this job. So I could beat him. The cocaine and hookers are now taking a back-seat.
When we did the obligatory tour of the facilities I realised all the women in the offices were confined to HR, Sales or admin, I think maybe they have government targets to meet about the quota of women in certain departments and that was why I was given the interview. Now they need the obligatory ethnic minority and disabled person and they will totally get the all clear!
I kid..I got there with my magic CV writing powers of course.
The interview went well. We spent a large amount of time talking about photography and caving. Two things I had listed under interests, they love to pair you up with someone who knows about what you put down just to make sure you aren’t a cheeky untruth telling sprite. We also talked, rather randomly, about the cultural differences between Finnish and English people. No idea where that came from but hey..I can roll with it home skillet.
I now have to wait impatiently to hear whether I am through to the next (and final) audition interview stage. If I don’t then I guess I should have learnt my lesson and reapply for tea-girl.
On the way back home last night I met up with some friends in Windsor. Better known as the home of the Queen. We did stop by her castle for tea and crumpets but the big men with even bigger guns weren’t about to let us say hello so instead of heading round the back and pelting the windows with gravel to see if she wanted to come hang out we ended up sight seeing. In the dark.
It was very pretty there so it’s now added to the list of places I would quite like to sight see around during daylight hours. Plus the Queen still owes me a cup of tea.
In the UK it is illegal to drive whilst using your mobile phone. Very illegal..like points on your license illegal and I think now there is even jail time if you get caught.
Yet one of our big car accessory retailers is now pushing the sale of a CD/DVD player installed in the radio slot which either folds out into a DVD screen or is inbuilt into the fascia of the DIN unit so you can watch movies as you drive.
It says on their website the following:
“Please note that for audio/visual applications, the screen must not be visible to the driver while the car is in motion.”
Right so..something which is installed in the centre console of the car and in some cases cannot be angled won’t be visible to the driver? Riiiight..hell the little flashy things on my CD player in the car have been enough to distract me before let alone being able to see/hear a film
Now..you could argue that it’s for when you aren’t driving, or for a passenger but this afternoon I sat behind a guy, by himself at a junction who was watching his little dvd player. Watching it so intently that he sat holding traffic up at an empty junction. It goes to show that there are dumbassess who would drive and watch movies and there are probably a lot more where he came from.
Now I don’t dispute the law against mobile phones whilst driving because I’ve seen people so busy on their phone they are swinging all over the lanes on the motorway and at 100mph it’s not going to end well. Plus I can’t focus for shit on driving whilst using the phone so I either bluetooth or I don’t answer. There is no call worth wrecking for and if it really is that important then I’ll find somewhere to pull up. I get mad when I see other people on their phone and driving, I even get mad when I see it in films (yep I am *that* pathetic) but seeing someone watch films and drive takes me to a whole new level of mad.
It really bugs the shit out of me that they are allowed to sell something which is so blatantly aimed at the driver. It bugs me more than people would get behind the wheel and use it as they drive.
The dude today was lucky it was shitty weather because had it not have been I would probably have got out, dragged him out of his car and given him a…very stern talking too.
While I was home for Christmas I found myself watching hour after hour of the old grey films to while away the hours. One of the things that struck me while I was watching was the sheer drama that would be featured.
I’m not talking about the lifetime style ‘I really shouldn’t be tearing up over this’ type of drama but more the over the top dramatics that you just don’t see much anymore. It started a discussion going about why it’s gone and one theory was modern technology (see? we can blame technology for everything!! My impossibly not-straight hair?..Damn you technology!)
Sort of like how video killed the radio star but more technology killed the drama queen.
Take for example, I think maybe three of the films I watched featured the heroine catching on that her man was really just a jerk so she would be smugly saying her piece into the telephone and then, in a slightly gleeful manner the receiver would be slammed down and the person on the other end of the tirade would be left in no uncertain terms of the fury of our heroine. But now, with mobile phones what can you do?
You yell your piece to the person at the other end of the line and then what? You take your phone from your ear and stare at it for a few seconds waiting for the red mist to subside so you can now see the ‘end call’ key and then you jab your finger at it as if the force is directly proportional to the noise the person on the other end will hear, but in all reality all they can make out is the bleating of several keys as you accidentally jab at those on your way to the big red button. Or even worse..if you possess one of those flip phones (and whyyyy for the love of cake, flip phones are the spawn of evil) you take the phone from your ear and flip it shut. I am sorry but flip is not a word that can be associated with intense anger, it is more associated with the mild annoyance you might feel when you realise your breakfast cereal sat too long in the milk and has now gone mush.
Another fine example is email. Can you express your anger through email? Most people would say yes and that anger can be displayed quite easily through the misuse of the caps lock key or excessive exclamation point usage. SEE? ANGER. GRRR!!1ONE. But really you look stupid because the caps lock is forever associated with people wHo tYpE lIkE tHiS so your anger is lost slightly in translation.
I suppose you could always use bold or italics because nothing gets your point across quite like some spiffy italicised words. You betcha.
How about the old favourite of the black and white film. You are out having a meal with someone and realise they are nothing short of infuriating and you wish to leave in a flourish that would leave the other diners pause, lobster thermador halfway to their mouths as they non too covertly try and work out what is going on. Instead of being able to throw the cash down, turn on your heels and storm out, leaving only a trace of your perfume behind, you have to hurriedly fumble in your pockets for your card, then when that fails, rifle through your bag to find it. All the while you have to try and catch the waiter persons eye, maybe by waving your arm around, because you don’t possess cash and would they please hurry and bring the chip and pin machine so you can (angrily of course) punch your number in, wait while the card is processed and when it’s done THEN snatch it out, turn on your heels and leave. I guess you could always throw your drink in their face and then leave without paying the bill, but I always pay my half so I go by that assumption.
Can you imagine if the famous ‘We’ll always have Paris scene was interrupted by Ilsa Lund’s cell ringing out ‘Dontcha’?
It just wouldn’t be the same.
Whenever I find myself with a quiet day on the weekend I nearly always find myself going to one of the local wildlife parks. I received free membership for my birthday when some friends adopted me a llama so I like to make as much use of it as I can. Plus the animals there are really friendly so you can stand there while your pockets get turned out by hungry deer looking for seed and trying to keep your camera from becoming next on the list of things to consume. It is also quite funny to take my city friends down there from time to time and laugh as they run around in terror thinking they are about to be eaten by the chasing pack of goats, deer and wallabies. They still haven’t realised I slip seed in their pockets for my own amusement.
Obviously my llama is my favourite animal to go and visit, especially since they have have just had a little baby llama a month or so ago so it’s all cute and disproportioned causing much laughter as it runs and skids it’s way round the enclosure.
My new obsession are some of the wallabies they have there. I don’t remember the breed name but they are smaller than normal wallabies and there about 10 in this enclosure which you can walk around. If they know you have some food they will bound up to you and surround you. One brave one crept up behind me and stood there tugging on the bottom of my jeans until I would feed him. The poor things shivered like crazy because it was pretty damn cold and it was all I could to do to not shove a couple under my coat and try and make a break for it so I could take them home and ply them with blankets and hot chocolate. Especially when, upon leaving the enclosure they all lined up at the fence, shivering and giving me the look normally reserved for dogs when you are about to go on a fun car journey without them.
I tried my best to capture the cuteness in photo form but they kept sticking their nose up to my lens to see if they could lick or eat it. Sadly they couldn’t so I just ended up with wallaby slime as a result..tasty!
For Christmas I am all about the simple things. While I got some totally awesome presents this year I swear I derive the most joy from the novelty gifts and random things.
When I was 12 or so they introduced Mountain Dew over here. The luminous goodness was probably the reason my school deemed me ‘hyperactive’ in my report for that year. Anyway for whatever reason they stopped selling it about a year after launch and since then I have been attempting to track it down where ever I go. I hit payload in Spain a few years back but then it vanished again.
There is one place that I know of currently over here that still sells the stuff. It is about £1.50/$3 a can but man it is totally worth it.
Imagine my joy when I unwrapped this…
Much like the sacred Brugge beer I have a feeling this is going to sit on my desk until I cannot bear the temptation any more..so that will be 0.2 seconds from now.
