Instead of doing anything constructive this morning like getting ready for work, I ended up seeing something on a friends Facebook and thought ‘hah I can totally steal this and have a fresh new update with which to wow my millions hundreds ok ok couple of readers’
Basically the site takes a photo of you and then you can morph it with faces of celebs or friends or whatever. I chose celebs because it was always going to produce some amusing results:
Quite scary huh? I just picked from the selection at random and it produced some real lookers..check out me and the Queen or even Gollum! I don’t know how anyone could resist.
Mind you if kids came out looking anything like the mash-ups then if Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Evangeline Lily or Jewel Staite (Kaylee from Firefly incase you wondered) could give me a call, you know..when time allows..then we should totally get right on that. I am all about making sacrifices to further humanity *ahem*.
So yeah, go forth and play because I want to see the results and be resassured it’s not just my picture that produces some hideous results lol.
The site can be found here.
Upon claims from some Iraqi citizens that British soldiers have released a plague of angry badgers into Basra an army spokesman was quoted on the BBC website:
“We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”
I feel somewhat vindicated that the motorbike accident I had a few years ago when I collided with one of the monochrome bastards was perhaps part of a late night army training mission for the Basra badgers rather than me just not seeing the damn thing because *obviously* these things have been trained in stealth tactics.
I think THIS was a forewarning of what the armed forces had planned. (You can thank me for getting that stuck in your head later heh)
There are ways to wake up on a summer’s morning which are acceptable and there are ways which are not.
An alarm is semi acceptable because if it is going off you must have *something* that needs doing eventually which is why you set the evil device in the first place right?
A very loud knock from the post person is something I consider acceptable because usually it is an omen of good things so i don’t mind when it causes you to leap from bed thinking ‘Holy wow I must be getting a parcel filled with exciting goodness’ (I, um, get very happy when parcels arrive you see…) and then move at speed, well, as fast as my still asleep muscles can allow. I don’t mind right up until the second before cartoon skidding at the top of the stairs realising that hmmmm i’m not dressed in very much at all and what *does* cover me may or may not have the face of Spongebob Squarepants grinning out in such a psychedelic yellow that it could serve as a replacement runway light should the need ever arise. This is very much a sight that I don’t want to inflict upon innocent people really because I don’t have the money to cover any resulting therapy bills.
After I had gone back and found a suitably neutral coloured item to cover up Spongebob I opened the door to my giant box of exciting goodness and behind which was the face of the very cute post person who looked mildly terrified of the person blur that had emerged from the doorway. It was at that point that I thanked some of those lucky stars for not having a horde of cats winding round my ankles because that was about all the scene was missing really. I had the incomprehensible slur of speech, the wild eyes and the crazy hair but by the grace of *something* I was missing the cats which means I still held at least one iota of dignity in my hand, something I am clasping on to very tightly at this moment in time.
Luckily the contents of the parcel were almost worth blinding and/or terrifying the cute post person into never coming back. I ordered a bunch of uber t-shirts from the US back in March and they arrived this morning. Simple things like this means I can begin my day with a smile for once but right now I need coffee before I can even begin to think about smiling.
If you have managed to pick your way through the minefield of parentheses, ellipsis and quotations that seems to have littered this post then I salute you.
Oh and now England has banned smoking from all but the most hidden of areas I bring you Friends Reignited. The name alone made me laugh but you should check out some of the comments for pure comedy gold.
While I was shopping today I paused briefly outside the window of a local travel agents, I am all about torturing myself with holiday ideas I can’t afford…aaaanyways I noticed a fabulous little deal in the window; 14 nights, half-board and a bit of sunshine, you couldn’t ask for more right?
Oh and you want to know the destination?
Not only do they spell it wrong but they highlight the mistake in bright pink just incase it doesn’t jump up, samba right over to you and then and smack you in the face the moment you stop to check out the board.
Genius like this keeps me warm at night.
If you read here often enough you will know that I am not a very big fan of people because well..they are as a rule, batshit crazy and I am far too sane and normal to associate myself with that brand of insanity *cough*.
Hearing that 60,000 people were descending upon my town for the finale of the first stage of the Tour de France you would think that I would run and cower under my bed no? Ha! No I did the brave thing and packed up and found a spot 50 meters from the finish line and right next to the road so I could sit and..well..sit.
I know nothing about the Tour de France really and am not particularly inclined to become a super fan but when something big comes along you kind of have to at least go and look. Plus it was sunny in the UK for the first time in weeks so I stood a good chance at getting some ice cream and this would motivate me to do almost anything for anyone.
The first people problem came from a man with an SLR sat a meter away from me who insisted on telling *everyone* how he had done part of the route once upon a time and how great he was, telling them how they should all set up their camera equipment, and yelling the same three sentences at the top of his voice while periodically trying to get the attention of ALL the television crews walking by. At first I was calm but about an hour later I was ready to do something very horrible to him which may have involved his wide angle lens and…well you can imagine the rest. I think at least 50 other people were ready to do the same including the incredibly sweet old lady behind me that I had chatted to and who I wanted to take home and keep forever.
The next came from a man who appeared behind me like a puff of smoke. When I say behind me I mean so close we were infact spooning and he couldn’t have been any closer if he had chemically bonded himself to me.
Unless we are in a relationship or you are part of my family/close friends then you may not enter my personal space at any time let alone rub your sweaty self against me because I will cut you up and feed you to my favorite Llama.
It took approximately 0.2 seconds after I had driven all my weight behind a stamp to his foot for him to register that I was not a happy bunny and he should fuck the fuck off. He was lucky because in my old martial arts class we are taught to follow that up with a kick to the groin but because the entire Kent police force were in town to oversee the event I didn’t really want to spend the night explaining my way out of a pair of handcuffs. Not *those* kind of handcuffs anway..
Still, despite my freak magnet being in full working order I had a brilliant time thanks mainly to the haul of free stuff being handed out to everyone. I sadly missed the pink Haribo car as it drove round the course delivering free treats but some stunning red gingham hats that were handed out almost made up for the lack of sugary goodness…not.
Oh and the winner? Some Australian dude who managed to rejoin and then overtake the leading pack after suffering a nasty fall earlier in the day.
See? I at least pay a little attention sometimes!
Ok so I honestly meant to find the time between my holiday to Magaluf and the other stuff to update this but well..yeah you can see that didn’t happen.
In short bullet like form I present you with my last few weeks because I know you are all just dying to know what I have been up too (Why yes that was sarcasm..). Oh and they are in no order of importance of course, just whatever my brain throws out.
- I got a tan. Not one of those out the bottle orange numbers but a *real* one.
- I drank far too much alcohol and coffee which is often the sign of a good time right?
- I broke my camera. I am more than a little ashamed to say I sulked a lot over that because if you know me I always have my camera with me and now I feel a little lost. Time to save and keep my eyes open for my new best friend.
- I got my new desk finally up and running and wow not only can I fit my legs underneath without bashing the crap out of them but I have room! Room to..put things! No idea what things but hey that’s just a formality.
- I was verbally assaulted by a crazy old German lady when walking home one evening. She asked me if I had a mirror to which I said sorry no I didn’t and boy was that the wrong thing to say. I couldn’t help but giggle at the language she was spouting because the older generation certainly have a more creative grasp of cussing than I could have ever imagined.
- I made the transition into my very final year at University and with long term travel aims to Norway, Canada and the US I am beginning to get excited, a bit restless and more than a little concerned about getting the funds together lol.
- A lot of friends around me lost people very dear to them in what seems like a week of people passing away very unexpectedly and I am nothing short of gutted about it.
- Helping my sister move into her new house.
- Lots and lots of wedding preparation. I have never seen my brother so excited than he is to be marrying his future wife and it made me all go squishy inside. With a lot of sadness going round it’s nice to see some people so so happy.
- I came back to several hundred posts to read in my feed reader and quite a few emails to sort through so I guess I should start getting updated with you guys. Unpacking can wait a week or two heh.
