You know your day is going to begin in a good way when at half past six in the morning you are awoken from lovely warm and interesting sleep by someone trying your door handle. When you open the door you are not greeted by a lovely steaming cup of coffee (which may I add should be the *only* way someone approaches me in the morning) but the only man in the household of women looking..scared.
Why the fear? A bird had gotten stuck in the chimney and can I come remove it because omg birds are like the scariest.thing.ever because they FLAP and SQUAWK and CRAP and PECK and it’s just toooooo much.
So there I stand, in my white heart pajama’s with my cute little spongebob night top (yes I have spongebob pj’s..anyone gonna make anything of it? ANYONE?), hair at gravity defying angles and probably looking like I had woken up from an alcohol and cocaine fuelled binge, being asked to come save man and bird from scaring the living crap out of each other.
10 minutes of trying to detach the metal plate from the blocked up chimney and I eventually won but alas I could see nothing but cobwebs and there was no way I was going to put my hand in that cold dark hole..I saw Arachnophobia thankyouverymuch.
I left to go back to bed because obviously the bird was intent on staying up there somewhere and functioning as a real person was not on my agenda for at least another 20 minutes, of course the moment I crawled back into the rapidly cooling warm spot in my bed I hear:
*thud*
‘OMG WOAAAH’
*flap flap flap*
‘Debbbbbbbbbbieeeeee?!?’
One towel and some gymnastic skills later the bird was caught and ready be released outside. I opened the door and…every single neighbor was out to witness the spongebob attired, crazy haired girl set a bird free and probably wonder just what the hell we get up in this house.
Oh and because he reads this blog let it be said that the bird was like..twenty foot tall with big sharp teeth and murder death kill in its eyes. 
Sometimes when things have been a bit crazy I like nothing more than getting into the car, aiming in some random direction and just going. Mainly it is just to see what kind of things I can find but also because I love the anticipation of not knowing what I will be doing that day. Sure I don’t always find something to keep me busy but more often than not I find something pretty cool.
Today wound up with heading to the coast line. Most of the trips usually wind up at the coast somewhere because north, south and east of where I live is coast, west just happens to be London and it’s only on a brave day do I feel up to tackling the crowds and general mayhem that London involves.
Somehow I ended up walking about 15 miles all along the coast line, scrambling up and down cliff faces (usually winding up on my ass because it’s about the safest and softest way down when you have loose stones under your feet), I think the sea has to be one of my favourite places to be, that and halfway up a rock face or out on a lake. Of course now I am sporting the most attractive of looks, the sunburn. After it had rained solidly for 3 weeks I forgot the sun might actually make an appearance so when it did my skin was seriously under prepared but hey it sure means I won’t be cold tonight because the glow I emit is enough to warm the whole house.
I thought this was some rather brilliant signposting (up there with the downhill slope, wheelchair stick man and alligator which I found somewhere on flickr). Next time you are out walking your stick person self along the beach look out for nose diving stick people and chunks of cliff which may rain down on you at any moment, not the kind of sticky end you would want to encounter… (yeah nevermind my humor, I am hoping it will one day improve but as each year ticks by it gets a leeeetle bit less likely huh?)
I shall go glow silently in the corner now.
There are about a gazillion things I need to be doing right about now. While I am crazy busy I like to take a few moments out of my day and thank the sweet lord for bringing us..Paris Hilton (did you see that coming? Did ya?)
She is supposedly backing an online petition from her friend which paints her as someone who “provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives”.
Yes, like her crotch plastered over the interweb, her sex tape, her godawful nasal singing, acting and just plain speaking has given me hope, provided me with beauty and made my world an all round better and more exciting place to be. What would I have done without her huh?
Actually she does have the potential to liven up my mundane life..when (or maybe if) she serves her time playing ‘jail bitch’ because it will give me a few moments of laughter and maybe even a little tear or two.
Here endeth my one and hopefully only post about Paris Hilton.
