March 30, 2007

Is there any other kind?

Filed under: Day-to-day, General humor — debbie @ 7:39 am

My local news station loves to make things crystal clear for the viewer..

“Police investigating the murder of a local woman are treating her death as suspicious”

Murder? Suspicious you say? Why I had no idea!

March 27, 2007

D.I.S.C.O

Filed under: Day-to-day, General humor — debbie @ 9:45 am

I couldn’t sleep last night so I did what all good non-sleepers do in the small hours and I hauled ass downstairs to see what is on cable/sky.
I flicked through channel after channel of crap until I came across something so..so..dispicable, so wrong and yet so captivating that I just couldn’t turn away.
No it was not the porn channel(s), we don’t have those here because each one of us would fail our degrees.

So what is this shameful thing I discovered? It was pure horror in the form of the karaoke channel. Did you actually know such a thing exists?! It does..it really does and it wasn’t some warped sleep deprivation hallucination I was experiencing (those usually feature Heather Mills-McCartney on a reality tv dancing show, what? It’s true you say?!) no, you pay your subscription and then you have access to hundreds upon hundreds of hours of instrumental karaoke gold. From Abba to The Bee Gees, can you even imagine the pain and suffering that could be inflicted?
What kind of geek orders the Karaoke channel? You’re expecting me to announce that I did right?
Ha! You would be wrong because I have too much pride for that or maybe it is just that I am totally biding my disco time for when the housemates leave at Easter so I can don some shiny disco pants, grab my bottle of vodka and cause several hours of uninhibited audio/visual pollution which will only be witnessed by the large spider that lives under the sofa (we have this understanding, he doesn’t tell and I don’t chase his ass with a vacuum)..you decide.

March 24, 2007

Weekend lovin’ (and some hating)

Filed under: Blog meh, Day-to-day — debbie @ 8:58 pm

The lack of blogging can be attributed to my inability to form rational sentences at the moment. I have to fire up, maintain and harness all the energy of my few remaining neurons to complete coursework so..I became a bad blog mother. Shaving my hair and playing musical rehab is up next.

I bring you some of the things which have kept me sane and ranting throughout the week:

Hate

- The fact I was trying to explain the evils of Roller Coaster Tycoon to a friend and without realising pronounced it ‘Roller Toaster Cycoon’ and didn’t know until my ‘friends’ inbetween gasps for air told me. Trouble is I cannot actually say the real name because I keep switching the first letters without knowing. I do this a lot with words, it’s ok around friends but I get annoyed when it happens with strangers as I feel like a fool lol. I have now concluded that RCT is inherently evil.

- Random people who walk into a big room full of empty tables and chairs, walk all the way past them and pick the seats closet to me to occupy. I hate this ‘grouping’ thing people seem to have the need to do. I am here, tucked away in the corner with my books for a reason dumbasses..not so you can perch nearby and talk into your mobile about how life is so unfair now your parents cut off your money supply and you can’t afford new shoes.

- Companies who take longer to ship a package than it would take me to walk there, collect item and walk back. I would never pretend that patience is a virtue I posses because it would be a horrible horrible lie.

Love

- The feeling you get when you clear a big workload. It makes me want to..be nice to people or something.

- Coffee, it is my life partner and we are very happy together.

- The imminent arrival of my second monitor, it’s probably sad how excited I am by it but dammit I saved long and hard so I think I earned this.

- Winning lots of money at Texas Hold ‘em the other night. Now if only it was real money and I could perfect my poker face instead of getting that ‘I am about to own you all’ smile…

March 9, 2007

VisualDNA.

Filed under: Blog meh, Day-to-day — debbie @ 6:53 pm

I see all the cool kids are doing this, who am I too pass on a trend?
So, It says I am a wildcat personality wise, liking to get back to basics, being a bit naughty and have a good sense of fun, it sounds good to me so I will claim that I am totally that. Yes, yes I am!
Fun wise I am liable to take the plunge first and never look back, this is somewhat true I guess but I do look back on the odd occasion y’know?
It also tells me that that I like clean, simple living (yes true) and that I can be a creature of habit which pretty much sums me up, although I do have a fondness to drop everything once in a while and break routine in a big way lol.
Loving style? It tells me touchy-feely and that I think of sex when it comes to love. Ok..maybe sometimes but..but..in my defence I don’t *always* think of sex when it comes to love, there is very much a time for both in a relationship ;)

So there ya have it, ‘me’ in a nutshell.

I had some, err, teething problems with getting the visual display thing up however, even though she is drugged to the eyeballs ocB fixed the problem by telling me to uncheck a box hidden in the depths of my dashboard. You should go send love, candy and adoration her way and also check out her VisualDNA while you are at it.

March 6, 2007

I think even I could get this one right.

Filed under: Bitching, Day-to-day — debbie @ 6:29 pm

Sometimes, especially around where I live currently I get these little moments where I think ‘Holy shit these people should *not* have had kids’.

Today’s moment of parenting genius came from two chavs stood maybe 200 meters away from their toddler son having a full on screaming match at each other. All the while their little boy was hanging himself precariously over the bank of the swollen river trying to retrieve a piece of red hazard tape he was playing with. They watched the whole thing and apart from yelling not to go ‘getting wet’ they made no move towards him. Um..asswipes?..I am pretty sure if he fell in he would get a little bit more than wet seeing as how the fast flowing river was pretty deep and all.
As I went towards this kid I could just see him falling in before I could grab the little bugger but thank god he didn’t. I hung round while we pulled funny faces at each other until the parents finished screaming, got their shit together, collected their son and dragged him off, yelling obscenities at him and each other.
I almost didn’t want to let them take him back because damn.

I should have taken their name or something, sent them a complementary copy of the Idiots guide to parenting because I am pretty sure letting your kid dangle over rivers is on par with letting them play with traffic, or playing chicken with trains as ’stuff you might want to reconsider as a form of entertainment for toddlers’.