Right now I am feeling in the spirit of Christmas and all I want to do is wake up tomorrow, put on my comfortable around-the-house clothes and watch the following movies back to back.
1. The Holiday
2. Love Actually
3 Home Alone 1&2
4. Elf
5. Ghostbusters
6. A Christmas Story
7. Miracle on 34th St.
8. Jason & the Argonauts
9. Clash of the Titans
10. Imagine Me and You.
Sadly I have two weeks to get in a giant pile of Uni work so it’s not going to happen.
But soon my pretty. Soon.
Did I ever tell you that the windows on my house which overlook the sea are in really bad shape because of they are Victorian, constantly battered by the sea storms and haven’t been maintained over the years?
Such bad shape that you might just wake up and walk into the second bedroom only to find it is now raining INSIDE the house because the holes in the frames have gotten so big it’s not just wind that gets through any more? Infact if I were to go put my body weight againt the frame I am pretty confident that I could push the whole thing out it has rotten so bad.
That is what I found this morning. Jealous?
Everywhere you go in Whitstable one of these is nearby. I am pretty sure they are watching us.
So about that attempt at Christmas shopping yesterday..Total failure. I managed to spend 2 hours wondering around Canterbury and walked away without purchasing anything. Except food. For myself.
I have opted to give everyone a hug for Christmas. Print out this blog post and present to your nearest me to redeem your hug. Coupon is non-transferable and has a cash value of 0.00001 pence.
So today we had the chap in from a district magazine come into work to do a peice on myself and a graduate who we have taken on at work, all very boring blah blah.
The interview went fine, we were all lovely and articulate but then it came to the photos.. he staged us so the graduate was tapping away on his keyboard with me stood over him pointing at an object at the screen and looking serious. Except this is me we are talking about, when have I EVER managed to look serious? So, sorry Mr Magazine Man, each one of your photos are going to be ruined by the fact I am trying to supress major lols. I hope there is a photoshop brush for that.
Oh actually, I managed to pull of one very sincere ‘thinking face’ photo..I hope that makes the cut.
Exactly what bit of this ’story’ is even remotely news worthy?
What next the headline that Gordon Brown doesn’t have an ounce of personality?!
Get a grip BBC.
Dear Blog:
I know that I have been a bad blogger. Really I do. But there are several very traumatic and valid reasons for my absence and I hope you will forgive me for my lack of input.
The other day I was coming home along the dark, cobbled streets of my town, my head filled with witty and brilliant blog ideas(as normal). When all of a sudden out of a dark side alley came these ninjas. Dressed all in black and looking for a knife fight. Of course I fought them off as best as I could because, as you know Mr Blog, I have some pretty good ninja skills. But there were 3 of them and only 1 of me. They beat me up and stole my blog ideas. I have put up reward posters for the safe return of these blog ideas but alas no news as of yet.
THEN. When I had recovered from the trauma of that horrific incident I was toiling away in my place of work (as normal) when, as I left the office, I was cruelly and viciously mown down by a herd of wild unicorns. I heard that they had been finding it tough out on the mean streets of my town due to a shortage of rainbows and glitter. A result of these tough economic times no doubt. Police are advising the locals to carry around bags of skittles (Unicorns also eat skittles due to their close affinity with rainbows) but at the time I was unaware of this.
So, there you have it Mr Blog. The reason for my lacksidasical updating of you. I promise that once I am recovered from the above I will be back to my normal blogging routine.
Kisses and hugs.
Me
* Could also be read as: I was lazy and forgot.
My blog seems to have eaten my last post.
I think it judges me. That or I didn’t give it enough cookies.
Hi!!
I sorta have forgotten how to blog anything other than a meme or a photograph so I will give you a guess as to what today’s blog treat from me is going to be..
A MEME! (yayyyy!)
No really, I am sorry. Working for the man and studying sorta has my brain looking like roadkill by the end of the day so when I come home all I can do it sit with my head on the desk and whimper. I will sort something out I promise!
You must all say thank you to ocB from whom I stole this. I will give it back though..if you make me.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Oh dear.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
None, I am in my PJs and I don’t tend to sleep with cash in my pjs unless I know there is a hooker involved. Then it is about £5 (what..it IS Whitstable after all)
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Spore!
4. Favorite planet?
I am still pretty bitter about Pluto. Earth is pretty swell though if I had to pick.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
One of the girls from work. This life I lead..so glamorous.
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I have a normal ring ring and if anyone gets within 100 yards of me with an obnoxious ring tone I can be found foaming at the mouth and convulsing on the floor. Super hate.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
My PJ top. It is sexy and has sheep on it.
8. Do you label yourself?
We have sticky labels at work and I like to write things on them and stick them to my forehead. Usually ‘Do not disturb, internet time in progress’
9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
They are hip and trendy socks.
10. Bright or dark room?
Super bright unless I am trying to sleep.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I would totally send her cake. Which means a lot coming from me yo.
12. What does your watch look like?
Oh I had one somewhere, it was silver. I really ought to find that.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching my ceiling and hoping to sleep.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Hello you cheese eating surrender monkey.
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Many thousands of miles away. Which is good since they make me feel dirty, except they sell giant cups of mountain dew so feeling dirty never felt so good.
16. What is a word that you say a lot?
Oops.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
ocB in my comments like 10 seconds ago! I win at life.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
A random cat on the street.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
2 lines of coke. 6 joints and I shot up once with heroin.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None actually. I have gone solely digital.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I think I really enjoyed being four.
22. Your worst enemy?
Fire.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Stars and blue.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Yeah I can run past and check on the way home”
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Rather shockingly I would probably chose to fly. Although I am tempted by the money so I could get a d90.
26. Do you like someone?
I love EVERYONE.
27. The last song you listened to?
Ghosts by Ladytron (<3)
28. What time of day were you born?
I really didn’t want to come out so late in the afternoon I think.
29. Favorite number?
762.
30. Where did you live in 1987?
In a house and that is all I can say. I have moved 24 times in 24 years so asking for specifics is hard.
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Anyone who is drinking coffee right now.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Only when I dance. I got moves yo. (not really)
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was leaving college, and a drunk irishman on a bus stop told me, I thought he was joking. I really wish he was.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Kick it.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Sometimes.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I have some. I guess if I was to get more it would be some place I can hide (like the rest of mine)
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Umm..Pony?
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes of course.
39. Are you touchy feely?
Not a great deal. Only to those I really like.
40. What’s your life motto?
Eat cake!
41. Name three things that you have on you at all times.
Keys, phone, Cheese.
42. What’s your favorite town/city?
Toronto or Victoria. Back home I guess where I live right now.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Petrol.
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
1967.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Indeed I can.
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Not telling.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Not all that far.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
The work Christmas party. People fell over.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My knees. Really badly. Fucking knees.
50. Have you been burned by love?
Yes. I have also been burned by flames.
Everytime I turn on the radio I hear something about carbon footprints. How to save energy by switching off appliances when they are not in use (no really you don’t say!) etc etc.
I hear it so much now that it is starting to make me a little insane.
Just now I log into my Uni database and am greeted with this, my impact since 2006:
I then stood up, opened the door out of my office and threw myself under the oncoming bus. That should reduce my carbon footprint no?
