Some mornings the light is just perfect and you wake up really early. Your desire to go down to the beach is hindered by the fact you have just made a steaming hot cup of tea so then you think, well I could just take the tea to the beach. So that is what I did.
I hear on the grapevine aka the Internet that it’s Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am thankful for cups of tea, pancakes and the fact that today, for one day only, my day will not be filled with misogyny, racism, and homophobia.
Did I ever tell you that the windows on my house which overlook the sea are in really bad shape because of they are Victorian, constantly battered by the sea storms and haven’t been maintained over the years?
Such bad shape that you might just wake up and walk into the second bedroom only to find it is now raining INSIDE the house because the holes in the frames have gotten so big it’s not just wind that gets through any more? Infact if I were to go put my body weight againt the frame I am pretty confident that I could push the whole thing out it has rotten so bad.
That is what I found this morning. Jealous?
The fact that THREE TIMES this year I have walked into a shop and found products I needed to purchase way cheaper than the same product online. Not just a little cheaper either, one was over £100 cheaper in my local store than Amazon.
When did this happen? When did retail fight back? Also why the fuck does Amazon keep changing it’s prices for the same product on an almost daily basis. £16 for a Nike + the other day and then £20 yesterday and today it is £21.
Mostly I am pissed off because I have to burn calories walking round the stores like it is 1990 instead of doing it all from home.
Exactly what bit of this ’story’ is even remotely news worthy?
What next the headline that Gordon Brown doesn’t have an ounce of personality?!
Get a grip BBC.
It is important to remember that, as a sufferer of allergies, never congratulate yourself on making it through almost half of June without allergy symptoms and..could it possibly be that maybe this year you won’t get hayfever?? Because by the time your brain has finished having this thought an entire nations worth of pollen will punch you in the face and laugh as you writhe round on the floor begging it to stop.
Although times are tough in the Estate agent business we managed a very lucky couple of months and managed to sell a block of 8 apartments which exchanged on Monday. In time for payday.
Good news! Until your eyes drop to the bottom of the payslip and see that between national insurance, income tax and student loan repayments 86% of your bonus just went to the Government.
I can’t quite begin to describe the feeling you get from that.
I am going to take the 14% remaining and go spend it in some other fucking country because I think mine has already had enough of my money for now.
I don’t really like talking about work on here. Mostly because accidentally leaving my blog on the screen whilst I get distracted is something I can very much see me doing. Hell my boss has already accidentally come across IM conversation I had about a purple fisting mitten..(DO NOT ASK) and I think he already thinks I am a loose cannon (fisting and loose in the same sentence? Yes I win) and I want to be able to leave this place on my own initiative rather than being forced out the door.
Mostly because I want to be able to pull out my so long sucka’s dance as it is really something to behold, also I don’t have an oops I got fired dance. Yet. I usually have a dance for everything.
Anyway, I may or may not have mentioned that where I work is sort of like an ongoing episode of Big Brother, except without the alcohol, dressing up, and sex under tables. Basically Big Brother without all the fun.
We have several large cameras (and we are small small office so talk about overkill) which record all of our movements, and as an added bonus it also records all of our conversations. I am pretty sure this is actually illegal but I am too lazy to find the piece of legislation which says this. We only found out about the recording of conversations part when a co-worker and I were messing around on the all powerful computer upstairs and found the camera feed.
I would really love to be able to get ahold of the footage from these camera’s because there really will be lots of classic stuff on there like:
* A verbal smack-down between two of the girls in the office who deeply hate each other and only communicate between a third-party. I was hoping hair pulling would be involved but alas it was only screaming and occasional oh no you diiin’t.
* The two new part-time staff members who are SO unbelievably upper class, British snob stereotypes with *that* accent. They spend the entire time rah rah rah’ing their way round the office. Stopping occasionally to spit out enough platitudes to cause my eyeballs to roll right out of my head and make a spirited break for freedom out of the front door.
* My former two work mates (*cry* I loved them so) who, whilst working their month notice, set up a rival company and stole half our business contacts all the while using the office phones and computers to do so. The rapscallions. I wonder who could have taught them to clear their browsing history?
* My boss’ reaction to the slightest bit of confrontation. He, bless his little cotton socks, hates anything remotely like that and we see A LOT of it. The poor guy practically wets himself as soon as voices are raised and we frequently have to sit him down with a cup of tea to calm his nerves.
I honest to god think that throw in a bit of intra-office sex and maybe some scorpions and we’d be a hit reality tv show. Not least because who wouldn’t want to see snobby British estate-agents get chased round an office by scorpions. Hell I know I would.
I am really sorry but I totally have a bone to pick with Jesus.
Infact I think that every person who could never quite get into *those * jeans should have a bone to pick with Jesus. My epic and totally coherent logic is as follows:
Jesus created easter right? Because he totally died and people totally cried and it was all sad sad sad.
Then Easter started becoming more about bunnies and chocolate and eggs and shit. Sometimes even CHOCOLATE EGGS.
So technically Jesus made Easter all about Chocolate.
Then you get all the poor peoples who come along that were doing so fucking well with their healthy eating shit after Christmas and then BANG the shops fill up with thousands upon thousands of happy giving Jesus chocolate eggs.
Shopping then becomes torturous and horrid for all these people and eventually, unless you are a hero, you crumble and fill your basket with the Jesus chocolate.
So, Jesus died for humanity’s sins. And in doing so created a bazillion more tasty chocolate sins.
He obviously didn’t really care if we listened to those 7 deadly whatjamacallits or he would have made Jesus lettuce now wouldn’t he?
In summation? Thanks a fucking lot Jesus!
In the shower this morning the radio starts discussing a certain perfume that has been released in the time for Christmas.
It is worse that Paris’s
It is worse than Britney’s
Here
I love how it is being promoted as being “the scent of seduction” because mmmm nothing like the smell of a greasy fast food burger to turn me on.
Ew.
I sort of wish I hadn’t already bought a gift for someone I dislike because this would be totally awesome. Nothing says I hate you like a bottle of burger smell.
Last year the Psychology department threw a Christmas party for all the third years, staff and postgraduates. Lots of free alcohol, food and some random people walking around singing. Only about 20 people showed up so there was a massive alcohol to people ratio which is usual for a Christmas party right?
This year I got my email invite to the party again..but this time there is a cap on the drink..one drink when you present a voucher.
One?
Uno?
What kind of party gives you one drink? That means everyone stays sober and there are no famous after party stories to cause endless embarrassment. Jeez it is not like us postgraduates are unruly or anything, we are usually too busy keeping the staff in check..
I guess the Psychology department are really feeling the credit crunch* this winter.
(*and can I just say how much I HATE that term. It is as bad as the bloody ‘carbon footprint’. Everyone wonders round peppering their conversations with these buzz words in an effort to make it sound like they know what they are talking about when in actual fact they don’t. Quit it.)
