Hello people of the internet!!
It appears that I have some very bad news for you which will explain my absence. You see..ok this hard *deep breath * I found this website which had this incredibly helpful online tool and, well, it seems I have a problem:
I appear to be possessed! With a demon of slothfulness no less! Oh the shame.
I urge you, good people of the internet, to go this website and find out what demon may be afflicting YOU. Then perhaps we can battle them together. Right after this nap. Dammit I have limbs to atrophy and bedsores to grow!!
Find it here
The psycho mum of the two stranded Herring Gull babies is preparing to attack me here. My crime? Appearing at my window to check if the babies had enough water. I am protected by double glazing but shortly I need to go outside and get onto the roof to fill their water bowl. Joy of all joys.
The smell of my sun-cream is pissing me off.
It was all I have left over in the house but in the past every time I wear this brand of sun-cream I am on a beach somewhere. It reminds me of sand, of laying on the towel getting an excellent tan, of eating twisters and other fruit based ice lollies really quickly because the heat is melting them faster than you can eat them, of the sound of waves and the feel of jumping in the sea to stop the skin cooking process. It reminds me of getting up to walk to the beach bar to get a cool drink but having to run really fast because the sand is so hot it is melting your feet. It reminds me of coming home to the villa and using the outdoor shower to wash off all the sand and then collapsing inside with the blinds down to sleep through the hottest part of the day and wake up refreshed and ready for a night of cocktails.
The best I can do today is to take my study stuff outdoors and pretend that I am really on a beach.
So yeah this just happened.
Apparently you find out if you got in because they post you out one of two magazines either Accepted or Rejected. Harsh.
Also, on the website the advice they give you for immediately after you cross the line is ‘it is ok to cry but try and find your support team first’. That makes me laugh a little bit because normally when I finish a race I am really happy but I’ve never run something close to this long so is it really that horrific that the second you cross the line you just break down?
I guess I’ll wait to see what magazine I get.
Did you know that when you purchase a BMW or an Audi (or similar) that in the dealership they take away your license. Then you are asked to enroll on a new license course called ‘How to be the biggest prick you can on the road’ and then once you have passed it is only then you are allowed to collect the keys to your new car.
Modules of this course include
- Bumper to bumper driving at 80+mph.
- Swerving across all three lanes of the motorway because you feel like it.
- Parking across as many spaces as you can (Can include advanced module: Parking across 3+ spaces).
- Talking on your phone (Made even more fun now it is illegal).
- Driving with full beam on because no one else needs their retinas anyway.
- Driving with the window down even in winter and blasting tinny Eastern European Trance.
Bonus Module includes:
- I am probably a drug dealer.
I had no idea. Really I didn’t.
Want to come hang out on my beach?
I’ll cook you some food
And then if you are good we can roast marshmallows until they are actually just crispy cancer treats
I am really grateful for weekends like the one just gone because they remind me why I keep cool and stick around.
My housemate and I are both highly competitive individuals and we both love cooking/food so in the time we have lived together a competition between us has started. This competition is called ‘meal of the month’ and each of us take it in turns in cooking a homemade meal and this is then graded and at the end of the month the winner is crowned (except no actual crown exists yet..but soon!). No one meal can win twice so while it may sound like an effortful game of one-upmanship it actually serves a great purpose, it means that we are constantly trying to find something new and as a result frequently discover amazing recipes. Nothing makes me happier than good food*
This months loser is going to be forced to wear a Justin Bieber t-shirt for an entire 24 hours so there is a lot riding on this. Luckily my random attack on the fridge resulted in a roasted red pepper, spinach and red onion risotto with prosciutto and parmesan and I am going to put it out there that this is going to be April’s winner. So hello housemate…You are going to look fabulous in Bieber.
*except sleep..and llamas..and tea..and and and.
Tonight I spent a good part of my evening arguing over the merits of commercial space travel and so i decided I am going to book my place on the Virgin Galactic, well actually you fill out this form, they ring you up and discuss any queries you have and how you are going to pay for your flight. I have a lot of queries..so hopefully the nice Virgin representative will answer those for me. Payment method could be a little bit more tricky.
Also, I really really really want to be a space agent.
I’ve wanted to play around with tilt-shift for awhile but not many of my pictures have been taken from an elevated perspective. Luckily yesterday I went to stalk people in Bluewater so I could get some. Actually my main motivation was doughnuts but picture taking was a close second.
It is far from perfect however I will be sure to bore the crap out of you guys in the coming months as I practice. Stalking people on the cliffs will be great for this in the summer. So long as I don’t encounter masturbating man again…
My house is very white. Apart from painting it white again when I moved in I haven’t done even the remotest bit of decorating. I still have a photo frame awaiting pictures from Canada..over a year after the fact.
Today I added some colour to the walls.
I settled for this instead of painting blackboard paint all over the house and going nuts with some chalk. I am saving that for the bedroom..